The re-entry blues
I officially have the re-entry blues.
I would so much rather be in Colorado.
Taking trips are such a double-edged sword for me. I have never adored the Phoenix area — this is where I grew up, and where I swore I’d never live — but I work really, really hard valuing what’s good about my locale, and not having any kind of bad attitude about living here. That’s the main reason I started birding, and working on identifying native flowers and such; I’ve found that the more intimately I know this desert, the more I appreciate it. I work to bloom where I’m planted, and to not be seeking that green grass that really is on the other side of the fence. Still, there’s something about rain, and green rolling hills, and creeks, and trees, and seasons that stir such intensity in my heart; those things compel me to worship my Creator, and I simply delight in all the life that is supported by water — the flowers, the abundant wildlife: nature. I feel like I was made to live in a place like Colorado, and that being in a city in the desert is antithetical to where I am supposed to be. I love living in jeans with a long-sleeved shirt tied around my middle. I love my kids to spend endless hours outdoors enjoying creation. I love cold nights where I can comfortably snuggle up to my hubby. I love the green and mountainous landscape. I love towns with one teensy one-screen theater. I love the absence of the bustle and schedule of the city.
My hubby and I were talking about all of this on the way home. We talked about it for a long while, in fact: What do we do with these compelling thoughts? Is God doing something? Is He preparing us for a move? Or, what? What is this stirring? What is it towards? Anything? And what about ministry? Martin being a worship leader and us being super-involved in a church we absolutely dearly love is a *HUGE* part of who we are, and is the main thing that keeps us anchored to Phoenix. We adore our pastor. We cherish the people with whom we serve. We feel privileged to be where we are, learning the things we’ve learned, growing spiritually. There is such a dearth of healthy, vibrant, Spirit-filled churches in the U.S., and I can’t fully express my gratitude that God has us where He does, church-wise. And, yet, this is the first time — ever — that we have both felt like, “Maybe…. just maybe…. we could live here.” “Here” in Colorado, that is. We would have to hear with abundant clarity from God the Father if such was the case. We will be in prayer, and having our antennae tuned ever more carefully to His voice — yet not reading too much into our current angst, not letting our simple emotions lead us, and calling it “God.” (Hope that makes sense.) Martin’s vocation of architecture, CAD and home-building is in high demand in any growing community; and me homeschooling makes us mobile. Most folks are concerned about jobs and schools in a move; our first — and near ONLY true — priority would be church- and ministry-related.
I’ll probably post way-too-many pictures and stories of our trip when I’m feeling more chipper. For now, I’ll just leave y’all with the reminder that curiosity at the river’s edge makes for one delightedly muddy baby.
Posted on September 5, 2007, in Arizona, birding, Christian Living, Colorado, God/Christianity/Church, Introspective Musings, Life in the Desert, Loving Nature!, Sad Things, Summer Plans, The Dear Hubby, The Kids, Travelling, Weather, Whining. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.