I have conflicting thoughts circulating about my too-busy mind.
First, the good: I am encouraged that I seem to have a better handle on homeschooling than I did, just a few years ago. This year, with 1st grader Wesley and 3rd grader Grant, I am re-visiting Sonlight Core 1 and Science 1, which I did with my now-5th grader, Ethan, four years ago. At the time I went through Core 1 with Ethan, it was all I could do to get one week’s worth of assignments done in 1.5 – 2 weeks. It took us a solid 18 months to get through the 36 weeks of material. And, according to the notes I made, I was entirely inconsistent with Ethan’s math and English. Back then, I was homeschooling only ONE child. Now, I’m homeschooling three, plus I have a toddler to care for, yet I am easily covering each week’s subjects within the week, plus doing math and English consistently. As a homeschooling mom who often feels like I’m not doing enough, and doing well enough, it’s encouraging that I’m at least improving. We’re doing more, but it doesn’t feel like it. It doesn’t feel like we’re rushing through the material, or trying to learn too much. It feels quite natural, and is only taking 3 hours, at most.
The “bad news,” now: Right now, life is a little too busy for what’s comfortable for me, which I find stressful…. I’m stretched in my abilities to make everything happen when & where it needs to happen. We have a lot going on, which I don’t do well with. I do best with a plodding, slow life, and get overwhelmed fairly easily. I’m embarrassed by that, because it’s not like there’s anything happening that millions of other moms haven’t handled successfully. But, Ethan’s now on a Little League team, and we’ve had two, two-hour practices per week for the last couple of weeks, which extracts a chunk of time from my day, and makes it difficult for me to fit in what I would normally have done with that “lost” four hours or so, weekly. His first game is on Saturday. Also on that day, I’m hosting the worship team for a quarterly meeting here at our home, which means up to 20 or so people over… Next week is two more baseball games, and my youngest son’s birthday party.
Really, I like having folks over. I do. I love our home to be full with chatting friends, eating together, building relationship. And, I don’t even have to cook, as the event is a potluck. But, I do need to prepare other things for the get-together, and have my house spic-and-span.
And, I am SO THRILLED that Ethan is now “officially” in Little League. I don’t remember if I’ve blogged about this before, but Ethan has suffered, for nearly four years now, from the aftereffects of post-strep arthritis, which cause his joints to painfully flare up, and makes participation on a team sport virtually impossible. But, he adores baseball (boy after my heart that he is!), and my heart as a mother is brimming with thankfulness that he’s able to participate on a team, as his flare-ups are now only about every 2 months or so. And, his coach said that he would definitely be pitching on Saturday!!
And, we’re having a joint birthday party for Wesley, and for a friend of ours, Joel, who shares the same birthday; I’m really enjoying working with the Joel’s mom, Allison, who is a new friend. We have different strengths, and together are coming up with some fantastic party plans.
And, of course, there’s the normal, everyday life of being a wife, homeschooling, housekeeping, mothering, taking care of my own self, etc.
All of that compounds to a general dreaded sense of “looming” that I feel; so much to do, and not enough time, energy, imagination, efficiency, or directed attention to be able to make it all happen, and happen well.
Posted on September 20, 2007, in Baseball, Encouragement, Homeschooling, Housework, Introspective Musings, Medical Stuff, Motherhood, Parenting, Sports Stuff, The Kids, Whining. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.