So, tell me about your heart

Yesterday, I posted a smallish bit on the kinds of blogs I don’t like and an example of one I do.  One kind commenter made this excellent observation about blogs by “perfect” women, reaching a conclusion that I hadn’t realized myself, but is very true:

It sets an unrealistic picture and doesn’t tell me about their heart.

This led me to a little revelation about something entirely unrelated. 

Most summers, at my church, there’s a Bible study that usually lasts for eight or 10 weeks.  Historically, I’ve either been entirely uninterested, or interested only because it keeps me in contact with ladies who are either a) dear to my heart, or b) with whom I need to build relationship.  However, my commitment typically wanes, and I find myself not attending after the first four or five weeks.  I think all of the Bible studies, up to this point, have been Beth Moore ones, with workbooks and DVD lessons.

Now, God bless Beth Moore and all her onscreen warmth, but I just don’t feel a kinship with her;  it seems like the struggles she’s had, I haven’t, and those that I do, she doesn’t.  I don’t feel much of a meeting of the mind or heart or spirit with her.  Plus, I have to get past my perception of her as the perfectly-put-together Church Lady, with big hair, lots of makeup, and expensive clothes in order to drink from the water she’s offering.  I can do it, but it’s more of an excercise than a blessing.  For me, attending Beth Moore Bible studies are more like, “I should do this.  It’s good for me.”  Like drinking cod liver oil, instead of being comforted with some homecooked soup and a caress on the forehead and gentle words when I’m sick.

This year, however, I’m gung-ho about the Bible study.  I anticipated it greatly, and have enjoyed it immensely (though it’s only been going on for two weeks).  Why?  Because it was written and is being led by a woman who is very, very precious to me.  Her name is Kathy, and while she’s very wise and Godly, she’s also very real.  We have enough similarities that I can relate to her, but we have enough varied experiences and she with strengths in areas which I, so far, only aspire to, that I can really learn from her, too.

The above-quoted comment was completely revelational to me, about why I value this year’s Bible study:  Kathy sets a realistic (though challenging) picture, and completely reveals her heart.

~sigh~  I so value transparency.  I so value realism.  I want to be challenged, and led “further up and further in” but for me, there’s a fine balance.  If the leader is uber-perfect, I tend to get discouraged, rather than inspired, like “I could never do that.  More so, I don’t think I want to do that.”  With Kathy’s teaching, I’m inspired, and nowhere near discouraged.

So, if you’re reading, dear Kathy, thank you for all your efforts.  They’re not in vain.  🙂  It’s a reminder to me of that truth:  the very areas in which the enemy tries to destroy us, God uses for His glory, and for the building up of the Body of Christ. 


About Karen Joy

I'm a partially-homeschooling mother of six -- 3 boys ages 19, 17 and 15 years old, and three girls: 11, 8, and 3. I like birding, reading, writing, organic gardening, singing, playing guitar, hiking, the outdoors, and books. I very casually lead a very large group of homeschooling families in the Phoenix area. I have a dear hubby who designs homes for a local home builder and who is the worship pastor of our church. I live in the desert, which I used to hate, but now appreciate.

Posted on June 27, 2008, in Blogging, Christian Living, Christianity, God/Christianity/Church, Introspective Musings, Summer Plans, Vineyard Phoenix. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. I also don’t relate to people who have perfected their shield or have had a smooth ride. The closest friends in my life have had some things that they will only get relief from on the other side of heaven. They have allowed God to mature them through these thing as He says He does through many trials to bring perseverance and eventually maturity. Developing compassion, understanding and warmth with the desire to reach out and serve through these horrible hurts.

  2. Hello!! I just wanted to stop by and leave a little tid bit. I haven’t been reading your blog very long, but I do check in occassionally and really enjoy the things you share. I found your blog about “perfect” women. I can completely relate to your feelings on that. I have debated over whether or not to start my own blog, but have not come to a decision because of that reason and others. Anyhoo….we just moved from Chandler to Colorado about 18 months ago. We are a Christian, homeschooling family and I have just gone to a gluten/dairy free diet in the past 4 months. : ) We are also in the “planning stage” of baby #3. It’s a bit uncanny how much we share in common. Thanks for your down-to-earth posts. Have a blessed week!

  3. Nah, Beth Moore is not as polished or perky as she seems at first glance….but you don’t have to dig her. I am a huge fan, she’s got a new Bible study I will have to make time for. There are blogs out there that are real and speak from the heart. Authentic people…..the real deal….hmmm.

  4. I don’t like Beth Moore at all either! I don’t think I think she is perfect. I just flat don’t like her. I also feel like it takes too much work. Don’t get me wrong, growing in Christ is a worthy goal, and work is necessary, but there is no joy in it for me when it comes to Beth Moore. I am thankful we have options. I am also thankful for the hearts and lives she has touched.
    Out church did Mom To Mom from lifeway last spring, and I LOVED it. The other moms didn’t so much.
    Hope you stick it out with your study this time, and I am glad to hear you are excited about it, and it’s leader. you are right, transparency is a good thing.
    Thank you for sharing your heart with us. I appreciate it.

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