Snarky homeschooling moms
I have blogged about my bad experiences with homeschooling groups before, but I thought I’d revisit the topic because…
- It’s been since May of ’07 that I last posted on this topic, which I think is an important one. IOW, it’s time.
- I have the new hope of a potentially wonderful homeschooling group that I’m looking forward to participating in, so it’s just on my mind.
- My friend since we were in the church nursery together — as infants — Lori, asked.
Specifically, Lori said:
In the reading of your description of the homeschool groups, the only thing that came to mind was, Good Grief!! What the heck kind of homeschool groups are out there? And why are they snarky? I always wonder when I hear about people like that why they don’t have better things to do in their life than make other peoples miserable.
Though, now as I revisit my post from May ’07, I don’t have many NEW thoughts on the subject. But, here goes:
Why are homeschooling moms so snarky? Well…
- Virtually none of us are the “go with the flow” kind of women. By nature of homeschooling, we’re the sort who have an idea about what’s right, or what’s best for our children and families, and are willing to make a stand to make that happen. In other words, we’re mostly leaders. Not many follower-types.
- And, there are a LOT of overachievers amongst the homeschooling community (though I do not count myself one of them) who think it’s important to impress others and prove their “worth” as a homeschooling family, so they do things like, while studying the history of Hawai’i, they dig a pit in the back yard, roast a suckling pig, and have an ethnically- and historically-correct luau (seriously).
- Also, you have a lot of homeschooling families who are doing it for religious reasons alone, so there are the Christian zealot type of women, too, who are super-dogmatic and who think that their church, their beliefs, their opinions are the only way.
- Plus, many homeschooling moms are already on the defensive because they’ve taken so much flak from their friends, in-laws, parents, society, other teachers, even their husbands.
- And, many homeschooling moms were in positions of power before they started schooling — they were bosses of their own companies, managers, lawyers, nurses — just used to being in positions of power, and now they’re simply at home.
So, you put these women together — defensive, overachieving leaders who think they are right, who have a need to be in power, put them all in a “support” group, and it’s just a recipe for disaster, 98% of the time.
Then… you have women like me, who are just like, “Hey, can my kid just play with your kid? And, by the way, anyone use Spelling Power? What do you think of it? Anyone have any suggestions for a good fifth grade math program? What are you using for history? And, oh, my 2yo did the silliest thing the other day… Hey, you guys wanna go to the zoo in a few weeks?” In my seven years of homeschooling, women like me are in the extreme minority.
So, I’ve resorted to finding support elsewhere — my husband, my Stepdad (who is a public school teacher), other bloggers, occasionally an online homeschooling forum, and simply spending time with the few other homeschooling families we know personally. Plus, time with friends and family who don’t homeschool.
But… I’ve long held out hope that, somewhere out there (can you hear the song??? It will now be stuck in your head the rest of the day, along with visions of animated mice and Linda Ronstadt) is a group that I’d really love to participate in. Thanks to my friend Allison, I may have found it. More on that in the future, I’m sure…