When blogging doesn’t work. And, kinship worship.
A while back, a fellow blogger wrote that she could, basically, be a lot more honest, funny, sarcastic, and deep if no one she actually knew read her blog. Lately, I’ve been feeling similarly. Certainly, one’s relationships should take precedence over one’s blog. One doesn’t post in anonymity. That’s why I still journal some, and would be journaling more, if only my day had an extra hour or two that everyone else’s didn’t.
I’ve thought about it a lot, and really, blogs are primarily limited to one’s own experiences and thoughts, and mostly when those experiences and thoughts don’t disclose the private hearts of friends and family.
In essence, if I value relationship (and I do), my world about which I can blog is really limited, since so much of my own life is entwined with others’.
But, my heart is heavy. About something I’m not at liberty to blog about.
I’m going to kinship tonight, which is good. It’s so good to learn, worship, hear from God and just hang out with other believers.
Actually, in a topic only tangentially related, I have found out this week that I am going to start leading worship in a kinship. I’m very excited about that.
It all started last week. I normally go to kinship on Tuesdays. But, last Tuesday, I wasn’t able to go. On Thursday, Martin said to me, “Why don’t you go to Doug’s kinship tonight?” I responded, “Fantastic idea. I am so there.” I went, and later that night, when I was asking Doug if his kinship was typically busting at the seams, as it was that night with 24 people, he said that yes, it was, and the kinship would be multiplying soon, within a couple of weeks. I figured who the new leader would be. I asked him who was going to host it. He didn’t know. I asked who the worship leader was going to be. He said, “At this point, we’re just going to sing to CDs. I don’t have anyone!” I offered, “At this point, I’m only making it to kinship every other week or so, so I don’t know if I’m the most reliable resource. But, if Martin is willing to work with me to make it happen, I could lead.” Doug really liked that idea.
That night, I asked Martin, and he said — I think this is a quote — “Don’t even go there.” So, I didn’t. I have learned that my husband’s first response to a challenging question is typically, “No.” But, once he stews on it, he frequently changes his mind.
I didn’t bring it up again until Doug called me on Monday, saying, “Well, Martin approached me yesterday about you leading kinship worship…” to which my jaw dropped. I thought maybe Doug was mistaken, but he wasn’t. I guess it’s that Martin weighed his responsibilities as the worship leader — and, really, wanting to see people have the opportunity to truly worship, and worshiping as a group to CDs isn’t really effective — and as a husband who would miss his wife for certain one night every week, with the added time-consumer of baseball upon us, and having a nursing baby, and everything else.
Anyways… Doug’s normal worship leader, Mike, is unavailable the next two weeks and Martin was going to sub for him (in addition to the Wednesday nights he leads in another kinship). But, we all decided yesterday that it would be a good intro if I led tonight, instead. So, I am. I might lead in the same kinship next week. Then, the following week, as the plan goes, the new kinship will start up.