Answering Your Questions Part 3 – Our Lovestory – How we met.
Daja asked me:
How did you and your husband meet, fall in love and get hitched? I’m in a love-story mood, so make it good!
Well, how we met is sort of a joke. We answer, “We don’t know.” At the core of it, though, is my pastor’s family.
When I was in high school, I at first didn’t like, then became best friends with a girl named Holly, who is the youngest daughter of the man who is now my pastor. Holly and I weren’t really friends until the end of our junior year, though we were in a really small class together (16 students in our grade), and played sports together. My husband had gone to school with Holly’s sister, who is seven years older than she is, and had known their family since that time, when he was in junior high. Even though Martin was so much older than Holly, since he had long been a family friend, he had been to some sporting events in which Holly played, so we think that’s where he first saw me. I first saw Martin in February of my senior year, at our school’s one formal event. I can still picture him in my mind: He was tall, had a full beard, almost black, wavy, longish hair, cowboy boots with his tux, eyes that looked dark from far away, but turned out to be green, and a furrowed brow. He was so handsome it took my breath away. But, it was obvious that he was a man, and I was a teen. I quickly found out from Holly that Martin was just accompanying her, as she didn’t have a date, and he was a friend. She also wore a stunning emerald green dress which I still remember, but that’s another story. 😛
I was going to a Christian high school, and in one of my classes, our teacher had us write out what we wanted in a spouse. I know I have that list somewhere, but have been frustratingly unable to dig it out. In the back of my mind, I held Martin as a standard. He was SO like what I wanted, some day, when I got married. He was (is) Godly, artistic, creative, hardworking, musical, not a loner, a good balance between extroverted and introverted, intelligent…. Plus, he was just so gosh-darn handsome.
So, he became my standard.
I never considered him as a potential husband for me, because he was nearly seven years older than me, and I thought he’d surely be married when I was of the age to be married myself. After all, when I first saw him, I was 16, and we weren’t in relationship at all; we didn’t even know each other.
Off to college I went…
While at Tulane, I dated a lot. I didn’t know anything about courtship-style relationships; I was totally on my own for relationship guidance, and felt like I was doing something stellar just maintaining my virginity. Looking back, I could have done SO much better, but I really didn’t know any better, and honestly, I don’t know that I regret the relationships I had; they all served to move me further to where I needed to be. Anyways. Out of all the guys with whom I spent time, I formed two significant relationships, one a standard “dating” relationship, and one a little more unusual. But, I loved both of those men, both of whom I will have to give pseudonyms in a later post, one because his name is so unusual, if you Googled it, you’d probably come up with that guy*, the other because he was/is semi-famous, and I don’t know if he’d like that I was writing about him.
Next, I will answer the “how we fell in love” part, and a lot of it has to do with falling out of love with those two other guys.
To be continued….
*Edited to add: Well, I tried it, and it’s hard work to actually come up with him on a Google search. I put in his first name, and then had to minus out a bunch of unrelated-to-him terms, and he was still only on page 4 of Google. Still, I think I’ll stick with a pseudonym.