Homeschooling? How involved is your husband?

Obviously, this is directed at homeschooling moms.  😀

A blogger I regularly read linked to a post that referred to another post (follow that??) roughly covering the topic of the support (or lack of it) of Dads who are the heads of homeschooling families.

In the past, I have read with interest about other homeschooling families where the Dads regularly do math with their kids over the weekends, or do the prescribed read-aloud before bed, or have some other direct involvement in the kids’ education.  But, that has never been our family’s modus operandi, and frankly, I’m happy with that.

My husband is very supportive of me homeschooling, and has been my greatest encouragement and defender plus the supplier of funds.   But it’s still “my thing” in the sense that he is not directly involved in the kids’ education.  It even annoys him when I correct grammar at the dinner table.  😀  To me, learning is lifelong/daylong, and to him, school stuff is done during school time.  However, if that’s our biggest conflict, I think we’re doing well as a homeschooling family!!  And, actually, I’m OK with his apparent uninvolvement, because there have been things that he’s been interested in having a say in (dating back to my bridesmaids’ dresses!!) where I’d prefer to make the decision on my own.

It’s important to me to be trusted, greatest of all by my husband, and the fact he implicitly trusts my homeschooling decisions (because he’s been very pleased with results) is a huge pat on the back for me.  That’s the kind of involvement that’s valuable to me, way more than him reading to the kids, or doing math with them, or whatever.

So, how is your husband involved (or not)?  Are you satisfied with that, or is it a point of contention?  How do you handle (or how have you handled) asking him to “step up”?  Has it been successful?  Are there things he’s asked you to do regarding homeschooling — maybe curriculum choices, technique, emphases, etc. — that has been hard for you to implement?

Feel free to comment below — even if it’s really long!!  I enjoy long comments — or just post on your own blog and link back so I can read your thoughts!

About Karen Joy

I'm a partially-homeschooling mother of six -- 3 boys ages 19, 17 and 15 years old, and three girls: 11, 8, and 3. I like birding, reading, writing, organic gardening, singing, playing guitar, hiking, the outdoors, and books. I very casually lead a very large group of homeschooling families in the Phoenix area. I have a dear hubby who designs homes for a local home builder and who is the worship pastor of our church. I live in the desert, which I used to hate, but now appreciate.

Posted on July 14, 2009, in Family, Homeschooling, The Dear Hubby. Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.

  1. My hubby is as involved as I want him to be. When we were reading through a particularly boring book with Sonlight he read it too us at night.

    He helps with math if needed and anything else that I might want. Otherwise he is fairly hands off. He doesn’t even really ask what they learned or anything. If I think that they did something really neat then I tell him and he asks them about it. Not that he doesn’t care but when he comes home he prefers to just hang out with (swimming, playing wii, etc.)

  2. My husband’s main involvement is working hard so that I can homeschool! He does inquire about the kids’ progress (he is a school teacher after all!), but can’t really fill in for me on things because his English isn’t strong enough. He can check on math, of course, but doesn’t very often. He is in charge of their Japanese, but it really is hard to keep up with. He always does intensive Japanese with them over the summer break. That’s about it. I am happy with things the way they are, except that I wish he had time to be more consistant with checking up on their Japanese. We are hoping to get him back to reading aloud to them in Japanese in the evenings, after having let it drop for a few months after they fininshed the Narnia series. No matter what anyone says, it’s not easy keeping literate in more than one language – especially two drasticaly different ones!

  3. If my husband is home he’ll lend a hand with helping the kids work through a math problem or correcting a paper or two. Other than that his direct involvement has been minimal. BUT, like you, I feel that learning is lifelong and is way more than “school.” So, when he teaches Israel how to build a fire or Meg how to draw something maybe it’s not technically in the school plans, but it’s definitely part of our HOMESCHOOL!

    I talked with my husband just this morning, though, about teaching the kids Mongolian in an official way in the fall. He agreed. So, it looks like he’ll be more involved in the coming year. The kids will also be doing a science fair and I think he’ll be doing the projects with them. That’s more his sort of thing anyway.

    But like you and others, I’m just so happy that he works so hard and funds our school and lets me stay home that I’m not complaining about involvement AT ALL!

  4. As I sit here tonight and write this at our computer desk at home, I am at one end, my Husband is at the other. The desk is about 10′ long, I am surfing blogs and he has his head buried in his bible, doing God only knows what 😀 but he believes that is his chief role in Homeschooling, first and foremost, knowing the living God and knowing his word, so that he can express God to our children in everyday life.

    He says that a fathers first expression of teaching something to children to learn is through modeling, and is very happy to put aside textbooks, and “schoolwork” if there is a need for character and life lessons and spend the time necessary to share and impart Gods ways into the children’s lives.

    For me, I can sit back and be happy, knowing that if I have to do the monotonous boring stuff that seems to be schoolwork at times, and do it alone, but my Husband is wanting to and is strongly motivated to do
    what seems the more fun stuff, that in it all we are working as a team pursuing the same goal, healthy, educated, whole and Holy kids.

    FROM KAREN JOY: I edited your blog URL so that it would work! There was an “about” at the front of it, and I guessed and took it out, since the link didn’t work, and voila! I found you. 🙂

    • Hey, thanks for the comment!!

      Our families approach things very similarly, it appears!! My husband is such an amazing Godly man (if I do say so myself!) and I am thrilled to have him as a model for our boys.

      But…. your schoolwork is monotonous and boring?!? Ack! Time for a new curric, I say! Or, maybe it speaks to my level of maturity that I enjoy the Kindergarten stuff as much as learning new things with my older kids. 😀

  5. My husband would be doing math and science with our kids, except right now he’s rather swamped. Once we get out from under the Things That Are Swamping Us, he’ll be able to do more. As it is, he is my co-captain in this venture. We both decided we wanted to homeschool, and I run the curriculum by him, consult him on discipline/motivational issues, et cetera.

    And like Daja said, any time he teaches the kids practical things (building a fire, make pancakes, rowing a boat, how to swim, play baseball, et cetera) that counts as school. I do most of the sit down academic work, but Dad is the one showing them how to chop wood, mow the lawn, build a door from sticks, that sort of thing.

    I think of it this way; he’s the principal, and I’m the teacher. It works out well. We just had our yearly assessment (as required by our state) and our son did great.

    I am just so grateful that he is supportive AND interested in how the kids are doing. And he praises my hard work. I have sadly seen families in which the father is not only not involved, he isn’t supportive. And the moms are all, “I just went ahead anyway.” Really? The message that sends is, “Your mom and dad aren’t a team.’ Not that i don’t think homeschooling is the best for our family (and for most families, heh), but i think BOTH parents need to agree on that fact before setting out on this venture.

    • Karen, you should start a blog. I like the way you write, and you always have good, meaty comments.

      I agree with your comment — especially the last bit. I would not homeschool my child without the support of my husband. “Unified front,” is what I say. Kids are WAY better off with peaceful, agreeable parents who defer to one another while in a public school, than they are being homeschooled in a tension-filled environment. IMO, of course.

  6. I think it’s great that your husband trusts you so much. I can’t say mine *doesn’t,* but he does want a checking-in when I am planning major curriculum changes and he enjoyed coming to the Homeschool Convention and looking at what’s available. I think he recognizes that public school and home education both have strengths and drawbacks (we have children in both) and wants each child to have the best education possible *for him.*

  7. Very interesting. As a homeschool dad hopeful, this is a very insightful post…


  8. glutenfree4goofs

    I’m posting about this! You might find it funny to know that I had a great deal of it written in this little text box and I thought, “this is OUT of control!” so I copy pasted it to a blog post! Ha ha!

  1. Pingback: Principled Discovery » Homeschool poll: How involved are dads in homeschooling?

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