Why I’m weathering the storm better this time (and: Restoration)
About a year ago, I was pretty despondent over Fiala’s health.
I’m doing much better this now, in spite of the fact that she’s had her worst month of 2010.
Fiala is now on the tail end (bless God) of about four weeks of a really bad outbreak. She’s still on Septra; we have another week or so to go with that; I’m so happy, though, that she’s really turning the corner, and the infection is abating, and her skin, body-wide, is healing.
When listening to my pastor Dennis’ message yesterday (http://www.vcfphoenix.com/message.html, the December 5th one), I realized that one of the biggest reasons that I’m weathering this “episode” so much better this time is directly related to something he said: Thankfulness while IN a dilemma releases God’s activity. And, even if my dilemma doesn’t get better, if God just SHOWS UP, then it’s OK.
That is something that some other sweet sisters in Christ had encouraged me in, months ago… In spite of their teaching/correction/kicking me in the rear, it took me several months to pull out of the pit of feeling like perhaps God didn’t love my little girl enough (or something that would keep Him from healing her). This time around, I’m not even tempted to go there. Or, if I am tempted, it passes quickly, because I don’t give that line of thought the time of day. I don’t let myself think that. I rest in His sovereignty; He can choose to heal her, but if He doesn’t, I will still trust in God my Father.
I’m definitely still praying for her healing, but more than that, I just want the Holy Spirit’s activity and presence in our home, and in her body and her life.
Other things that are happening:
- A dear friend had a dream that Fiala’s reactions were not caused by food at all, but from a small animal in her bed. She wrote to me, not suggesting that I take the dream literally… but, completely unbeknownst to her, I had noticed that Fiala seems to get WORSE upon sleeping/resting in her bed, and I had already theorized I thought maybe her mattress was infested with something, and we should get a new mattress. The one we have is a second-hand mattress, and not in very good shape, though I rather rationalized that it would be OK since we use a waterproof pad each time, under the sheet. So, we’re working on the mattress thing. (She doesn’t have a new one yet, though.)
- Also, I realized that her clothes are bothering her — pretty much the only place she’s not broken out right now is in her diaper area. My husband Martin is having a similar reaction in his sock area — everything covered by his dress socks has been itchy, and he’s had a sandpapery rash there, very similar to Fiala’s. I have been making my own laundry detergent for the last year+, and cannot think of anything in the ingredients that might be anything other than innocuous except, perhaps, the soap itself. I use Kirk’s Castile, which is made from saponified coconut oil. I know Fiala has problems with anything palm-related, so perhaps even though it’s gone through the chemical process to make it soap, it’s still giving her problems. So, this weekend, I went out and got All Free & Clear and am washing all our clothes (and re-washing her clean clothes) in that, plus a half cup of baking soda, and an extra rinse with 1/2 cup vinegar. Last night was the first night she was in newly washed pajamas and bedclothes, and she woke up looking significantly better this morning. Coincidence? Perhaps. But, I’m just trying to do every little bit that may help, considering environmental things, as well as food.
- And, I read recently (in my Clean Eating mag) that larger-than-USRDA-doses of Vitamin D have been shown to improve/resolve health issues, especially those related to the immune system. So, I have my son Wes* and Fi on 2000 IU daily. We’re just on the third day of that, and I’m uncertain, of course, if it’ll have any positive effect, and how long it’ll take. But… I felt like I had to try.
Unrelated, really, other than that the above song has ministered mightily to me in the last month: A couple of months ago, I suggested to my hubby, Martin, that our church’s worship team learn the song Restoration (written by Clay Edwards, led above by David Brymer and Clay’s sister, Misty). He didn’t go for it. Then, a couple of weeks ago, he borrowed my oldest son’s MP3 player, so he could listen to music while doing yard work. I had loaded the song (weeks ago, for Ethan) onto the player. Shortly after the yard work was done, Martin had pulled up the chords… and he’s been playing it periodically over the last couple of weeks. Hehehe!
While preparing my set list for small group last week, I came across the chart for the song, and played it several times, just to “warm up”. Guidelines for small group worship leaders are that song introductions should be rare; we would rather do songs that the people in the group know and can easily worship to. But, I called my friend Sheila to see if she’d be going to small group that night (she was) and did she know Restoration (she did) and would she sing along, if not otherwise engaged, if I led a bit of it during ministry time, after the main worship set (she would). So, that was the plan.
It’s hard to explain what happened during worship and ministry-that-wasn’t-normal-ministry time. Worship, in my estimation, didn’t go fabulously. It seemed like many were distracted, and people weren’t really engaging God. It’s my job, as a worship leader, to facilitate that. I can’t make God show up, but I can sure invite Him, and help pave the way for people to engage. So, I was a wee bit bummed out. Only a wee bit, though, because appearances can be deceiving, and I didn’t know for certain what was going on, and I just continued to lead us in worship. After worship, we had a time of prophetic ministry, and the Holy Spirit just poured out a bunch of words through lots of people for lots of people. The small group leader just had everyone gather in the center of the room, and asked me to just play over everyone, which I did, praying all the while. Then, I started playing Restoration… and the Holy Spirit fell, even more. It was just what everyone needed. It seems like God wanted me to play that song, on that day, at that time, not months ago, when I wanted my hubby to teach it to the team. Everyone learned it quickly, and sang it wholeheartedly. It was His timing, and I wasn’t even aware of it!!
So, anyway. Equally unknown to me was that Martin planned to teach it to the team that coming Sunday (yesterday). He did. Practice was wonderful. We just sang and played and worshiped. I abandoned the vocals and picked up an acoustic, just because I wanted to play it. I wanted to express that song with more than just my voice. (I don’t play guitar on the regular worship team; I just sing.) Martin invited me to change guitars to one that was amplified. (He was playing electric.) At one point, he told me not to strum so hard; I don’t know how he can keep himself from NOT strumming hard when a song gets intense! So, that took a little concentration, to not play so hard, even when the song built dynamically. Hehehehe! In sixteen years of being on the church’s worship team, I don’t think I’ve ever played acoustic, plugged-in, during a practice. Maybe once previous. It was fun.
So, I guess to tie those two lines of thought together: I am encouraged that — even when I’m not 100% aware of it — I am growing. I’m following the Holy Spirit. I’m becoming more teachable (historically, that’s not one of my strong suits). And, I’m seeing fruit from it, and I’m happy about that.
God is good.
*Wesley’s asthma is by far the worst in the winter months, December through March. Hmmm…. And, of course, celiac disease is autoimmune.
Posted on December 6, 2010, in Allergies, Babies, Character Development, Christian Living, God/Christianity/Church, Medical Stuff, Motherhood, Music, Vineyard Phoenix, Worship. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.