Dead, irrelevant, demonic. NOT.

I almost talked myself out of this post.

  • “It’s too revealing.”

  • “No one is interested in that.”

  • “Even if they’re interested, it wouldn’t be useful or encouraging.”

  • “Vain conceit, Karen, vain conceit.”

  • “You’re presuming a lot to think that anyone would want to hear ‘wisdom’ from you.”

  • “How can you teach what you only barely learned?  And did you really learn it anyway?”

  • “Remember all the other blog posts where you thought you’d stumbled onto something deep and powerful, and you poured out your heart into it, and no one commented?  Yeah, this would be like that.”

  • “Do you really need to turn every bit of your life into a blog post?  You spend too much time thinking about your blog.  You should keep some stuff private.”

After church on Sunday… well, let me back up a bit.

During worship on Sunday morning, I had a little revelation from God.  I love it how the same God, the same God who has been through all the ages, can whisper a a few words in my heart, and it is new, exciting, fresh, and just what I needed.  He’s the same yesterday, today, and forever, but fresh at the same time.

The revelation — those whispers — came after I had spent a good amount of time in awe, in repentance, on my face, with snot and tears dripping onto the carpet of the church.  Funny, that:  He seems to speak most profoundly, with spectacular, divine insight, right after I’ve repented.  Hmm…

After worship, I scribbled a bit of what He’d spoken to me on a scrap paper dug from the recesses of my purse.  The thought hit me, “I bet lots of women experience that same thing.  I should write a blog post about it.”  Immediately afterward came those questioning thoughts, and I put the plans for a blog post out of my mind as, “Well, God likely gave that just to me, for me, not to share.”

I left early from the adult service to go into SuperChurch to lead the 6-12 year olds in some worship that was deep and powerful and fun and rockin’.  🙂  (Helped exceedingly by drummer extraordinaire, Bobby Flanagan.)  When I got back into the main service, it was mostly wrapped up, except for a bit of ministry, with some live worship (led by my amazing husband, my favorite worship leader ever)…  Folks were milling around a bit, some praying for others, some standing or sitting, some — like me — participating in one way or another in worship, some just chatting.  I settled into a seat on the front row and closed my eyes, hands loose on my lap.  Then I remembered I had children, opened my eyes, and looked back at the clock.  “OK.  I still have five minutes before I need to pick them up.  I’ll just soak this in for a bit.  Five minutes…”

Then, a lady came up to me.  I know her just a little;  I was in small group with her for part of last year.  However, I don’t know her well, and she doesn’t know me well.  For instance, I’m pretty certain she doesn’t know I have a blog, or that I write.  And, I’m 100% certain that she had no idea, personally, what had been rumbling through my heart and head and spirit that morning.  She placed her hand gently on my shoulder and started to speak to me.  “Karen, I really feel like God wants to tell you something important.  He says, ‘Do not doubt the words in your mind;  they are to be encouragement for others.  I call that out of you, draw those words out of you.  They are not of your own strength, but of mine.  May grace be multiplied to you so that you can do what I have called you to do.'”

Ha!

Every time I read or hear about the prophetic being dead or irrelevant or even demonic…  It’s just like water off of a duck’s back.  How could I ever believe that the prophetic — when it’s really of God, and for His purposes — is anything but jaw-droppingly amazing and wonderful and need-meeting???  When you experience something like that, the negative things others say regarding the prophetic simply don’t matter in the presence of my almighty God, knowing my “stuff”, knowing my heart, seeing my need, and meeting it with another member of the Body of Christ (which brings up a whole ‘nother topic:  the beauty and power and purpose of the local church body, and the wider Christian Church).

I looked in her eyes and said, “Thank you.  That was right on and I so needed that.”  As she walked away, I pulled the scrap of paper from my jeans pocket and wrote down everything I could remember of what she said, so it would stay fresh in my mind and not be lost in the sieve of my memory, nor plucked from my thoughts by the enemy, who would surely assault these words with the same doubt as he did the first set of words.

And now, this is a post in itself, and I’ll have to save what I confessed, and what God spoke to me in return, for another day.  Hopefully tomorrow.

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About Karen Joy

I'm a partially-homeschooling mother of six -- 3 boys ages 19, 17 and 15 years old, and three girls: 11, 8, and 3. I like birding, reading, writing, organic gardening, singing, playing guitar, hiking, the outdoors, and books. I very casually lead a very large group of homeschooling families in the Phoenix area. I have a dear hubby who designs homes for a local home builder and who is the worship pastor of our church. I live in the desert, which I used to hate, but now appreciate.

Posted on July 19, 2011, in Encouragement, Introspective Musings, Prophetic, Vineyard Phoenix, Worship. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. Or maybe this afternoon? I was all ready to go! Couldn’t wait to see what God whispered to you. And then… “hopefully tomorrow.” 😉 haha!

  2. A cliffhanger!

    Waiting for the next installment!

  3. No fair, I want to know what you learned right NOW! Haha… There IS enough crazy stuff out there when it comes to prophecy (certain websites that claim to be “prophetic” but are really nothing more than daily horoscopes with a Christian spin to them come to mind), that I’m a little wary about it. I’m especially wary about anything that’s kind of on a grand scale and makes sweeping claims about governments and wars and the end of the world, etc., BUT there is no denying that God DOES sometimes speak to us directly and prophetically.

    It hasn’t happened very often with me, but I always remember what happened when I was pregnant with Felix. I had had a miscarriage before my daughter Ilona was born; the miscarriage totally blindsided and devastated me. When I became pregnant with Ilona, I spent the whole pregnancy in fear that something would happen again. Everything did turn out fine, but I basically lived in a state of fear/hope for 9 months; it was stressful. Then, when I became pregnant with Felix, I started having the same fears. I can’t even remember if I prayed about it or what, but I just suddenly one day had this overwhelming sense that everything would be OK; God spoke to my heart and told me that this pregnancy would turn out just fine. A few days later I broke my ankle and had to have surgery and be put under anesthetic and be given morphine. But all through it, I just knew that everything would be OK, and it was… There was a little corner of my mind that said, “Well, if it does turn out OK, you know that God really was speaking to you, and if it doesn’t, then you know that it was just all made up in your head.” An interesting side note to this story is that I had been really struggling with my faith and questioning whether God existed. Every night I would pray, “God, I believe in you… Please, help my unbelief.” Well, those words that God spoke to me about my unborn baby really went a long way in helping my unbelief. 🙂

    Sorry I got so longwinded here!

    • No apologies necessary! That was beautiful.

      The prophetic can be such a touchy subject; it’s so often mishandled, weird stuff gets taught, people get caught up in the “mysterious” aspect of it — the giver and the receiver — and too often, the King of all creation gets rather lost in the mix, and the purpose of it gets completely forgotten… thus the link to the Eph 4:11-13 passage: “And He gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ; until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ.” God wants to equip us with prophecy (and other spiritual tools, but that’s what we’re talking about here) to serve and build up the body of Christ, to bring unity among believers, to grow in knowledge and maturity, until we are like Jesus! 🙂 I’m so thankful to my pastor for having a level-headed, practical, working approach to the prophetic. I grew up in a hyper-Pentecostal church and didn’t really have a balanced view of the prophetic… I’ve learned a lot since then, and am sad that others don’t have the same opportunity to “do the stuff”.

  4. I’ll admit that the “fortune cookie” prophecies (e.g. “God wants to bless you”) I’ve heard now and again do little more than make me mad. But those direct words of insight–like you shared–are powerful things. Thanks for the reminder and the encouragement!

    ~Luke

  5. Thank you for being willing to be vulnerable. I’ve talked myself out of posts for all of those same reasons! And I love it when God bends down, fixes His eyes right on you, and says something specifically to your heart!

    I like your blog, and will come back and read some more!

  1. Pingback: The treasure chest of secret wants « Only Sometimes Clever

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