I’m trying to get beyond this, to mature out of it, to learn my lesson, to take it to heart, etc etc etc. I just had an exchange with a friend, though, who was waiting on me for nearly two weeks to mail something to her. I really had no good reason not to; it was a simple matter, but I just didn’t do it. I remembered at all the wrong times and forgot at the right ones. And then she e-mailed me, asking a few questions, and I didn’t e-mail her back. My thoughts were, “I’ll e-mail her to tell her her stuff is in the mail, and that I made the recipe she suggested and and and…” and then a day goes by, and three, and a week, and ten days… Ugh.
I wrote to her, finally, after her prodding (she shouldn’t have had to prod):
I get stuck sometimes in really what amounts to too much idealism: I’ll do thus-and-so right after I get all my ducks in a row, which should be ANY MINUTE NOW! And that “any minute” turns out to be a much too optimistic estimation of my time and abilities, and in the meantime, I’ve left people in the lurch who were waiting on me.
I think that’s a pretty fair assessment of myself, unfortunately. It has frustrated more than one person in my history, let me sadly assure you.